


Let’s Dance!

by ladeedadaday



Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: During Canon, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Post-Canon Fix-It, Senior year
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22864093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladeedadaday/pseuds/ladeedadaday
Summary: What if a Regina saw Janis in the bathroom, too?
Relationships: (As a cover), Cady Heron & Janis Sarkisian, Cady Heron/Aaron Samuels, Damian Hubbard & Janis Sarkisian, Kevin Gnapoor/Janis Ian, Regina George & Janis Sarkisian, Regina George/Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 5
Kudos: 32





	1. Apologies, sorta

Janis finds herself in the bathroom during Spring Fling, after she and Damian shared their kiss, which probably would be forgotten and they’d return to their normal rhythm. She sighed, knowing that because Cady apologized, she’d have to come to terms with the things she did. Her corner in the bathroom was hidden, so nobody could see her if they weren’t looking. 

Her head was pounding; The music and chatter was overwhelming her. She leaned her head against the cold tile of the wall. Janis pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping desperately it would help. When it didn’t help after a while, she lightly massaged the skin between her index finger and thumb. She swallowed, winching at the pounding in her skull. 

However, she hadn’t even realized that she had started crying, so when a voice said, “Hey, are you crying?” Oh God. She recognized that shrill voice. 

“I’m fine. This dance is really overwhelming me. I swear, I didn’t know I was crying until you brought it up.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Where are you?” She could hear heels clicking on the floor, searching for her. Janis emerged from the corner, only poking her head out around the wall. Regina flashed her a small smile, finding how vulnerable the usually stoic girl looked amusing. “You hide in here often?” 

Janis nodded. “Yeah, but I’m normally with Damian. I draw in here a lot,” She admitted. 

“So you and the theatre kid, huh?” Janis laughed. It was a sound that Regina hadn’t heard in a while, realizing now that she had missed it. “What? I saw you kiss!” 

“It didn’t mean anything. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. Besides, we’re gay. And Damian always says that we're platonic soulmates.” Regina nodded, or at least her best notion of nodding because of her spinal halo. 

An awkward silence hung between the two. “I’m sorry, Janis.” Janis scoffed. 

“That’s all you can say? You’re the reason my life is a living hell, you’re the reason my parents took me out of school, you’re the reason I was in the psych ward, and all you can say is ‘I’m sorry?’” She didn’t know exactly why she was upset, but she knew it would feel good to yell. It felt amazing when Damian let her yell into his shoulder or when she would vent to him, but it felt even better seeing the shocked look on Regina’s face when she spilled the information she had kept so private for years. 

Regina let out a loud sigh. “I… Janis… I don’t know how to fix it.” Janis pulled herself onto the bathroom counter.

“I’m not sure that you can. But we can try, I guess.” Janis wet a paper towel and started wiping off her makeup. “I’m sorry, too. It was pretty much my fault that you got hit.” 

“Janis, don’t be ridiculous. It wasn’t your fault, I walked out. Please don’t blame yourself.” 

Still wiping off her makeup, even more heavy than normal, she sighed. “I’ll try to stop, I guess. It’s going to take a while though.” The sound of the sink echoed throughout the bathroom. “Why are you in here?” 

“I had no one to dance with. Shane found a prettier girl.” Janis laughed, thinking Regina was only joking. 

“Wait, what? He can’t just do that, that isn’t okay.” Regina sighed, looking down at her shoes. This was the most human Janis had ever seen Regina. “C’mon, we’ve gotta go do something about it!” 

She didn’t follow the girl who leapt off of the counter. “Janis, I can’t…” She trailed off. 

“Right. You can’t be seen with the dyke.” Janis combed her fingers through her hair, sighing. “If we ever want to get back to being friends again, you’re gonna have to be seen with me at some point.” She decided on saying, hoping it wouldn’t offend Regina. “This is all about forgetting the past and making senior year awesome, right?”

“I guess so.” Janis grabbed Regina’s hand, beginning to lead her out of the bathroom. 

“Then let’s dance!” 

Regina had a million questions that she wanted to ask, but before she knew it, they were in the gym, and Janis leaned next to her ear and whispered, “We can talk about this after, but right now we need to teach Shane a lesson.” Regina smiled.  _ Why is she being so nice? Why is she out here with me? Didn’t her head hurt a few minutes ago? Is this actually gonna work? They _ were in the very center of the floor. Some people were staring, but Janis flipped them off.  _ That was actually pretty cool _ , Regina supposed.  _ She doesn’t care what other people think.  _ “Hey, Regina? Is it okay if I touch your waist?” 

“Yes.” Janis smiled, focusing on her steps and making sure she wouldn’t further hurt Regina’s back. “You’re the only person that’s ever asked before they touch me.” 

“Jesus, that’s not okay.” They swayed to the song for a while. Neither of them were terrible dancers, they had both pulled off the Jingle Bell Rock choreography pretty well, but Regina found herself stepping on Janis’ feet multiple times.

After the fifth time, she felt it was appropriate to ask, “Are you doing this on purpose so I have to apologize to you?” 

With a smirk, she said, “No, but it’s nice to hear you say it.” Regina rolled her eyes. “Ooh, Shane’s looking. You need to look like you’re having the time of your life right now.” Regina didn’t have to pretend; Dancing with Janis was the best feeling she’d had in eons. It felt like they were going to be okay. “He’s laughing. Ew, gross, don’t look behind you. Whoops, sorry.” She only then remembered that she had fractured her spine. 

“No, it’s fine. I forgot for a second.” Regina lifted her hands from Janis’ shoulders to fix her bow tie. “Are you ready to talk about this?” 

“I think so. But maybe not here. It could end in me crying and people aren’t supposed to see that.” They swayed silently and the song shifted, although still to a slow one. “You could always come over after the dance. I think Damian will be fine without one movie night.” 

“Oh, you don’t have to skip out on a movie night, I’ll be fine.” Regina insisted. 

“No, I insist, you could join us. I’m guessing that Shane was your ride anyways.” Regina smiled and Janis returned it. “If Damian is bothered by you, I’ll handle it.” 

“Thank you, Janis. I don’t know why you’re being so nice to me, but I promise, somehow, I’m going to make it up to you.” She smiled and bit her lip. 

A sudden laugh came from her and she said, “Damian’s looking at us and I think he just fell over.” She mouthed something, presumably to Damian.

“When do you wanna leave?” Janis shrugged. 

“Maybe in half an hour, I wanna say bye to Cady, but who knows when she’ll be done making out with Aaron.” She smiled at her own joke, even though it left a sour expression on her face. “I’m sorry, that’s still a touchy subject, isn’t it?” 

Regina weakly smiled. “It’s really not Aaron, it’s just relationships. I was thinking a lot about it in the hospital and I realized that I don’t know how to properly date someone.” Janis squeezed Regina's waist, as more of a comforting gesture, but Regina only noticed how good it felt on her back. 

“We can talk about that, too if you want. I’ve never exactly been in a relationship, but I understand how it works.” 

“I thought you had a thing with Kevin.” Janis shook her head. 

“It wasn’t real. It was more of a cover thing for me. He’s a really nice guy, and he was super understanding when I told him I needed cover. He’s still actually one of my closest friends.” She explained. She decided to add, “Not that I have a lot of friends anyway.” 

Cady interrupted, pulling Aaron along. “Hi, Janis! Why are you dancing with Regina?” 

“Originally we were trying to get back at Shane for ditching her, but now I guess we’re just talking.” She and Regina stopped swaying, but didn’t drop their arms. “Did you wanna come to our movie night? Aaron, you’re welcome, too.” 

“Sure, I think it’d be fun!” Janis smiled, clearly uneasy. 

“It will be, but we all also need to talk about what happened this year.” Cady nodded, biting her lip. “Go dance with Aaron, miss Spring Fling Queen!” 

She giggled. “Thanks, Janis. Your house, right?” Janis nodded. 

“Janis, my back is really hurting, can we sit down?” 

“Sure. You head over there by the table, do you want any punch?” Regina denied and Janis shrugged, heading off to get some punch for herself. 

Janis returned and took the seat next to Regina. “Any idea what movie you’d like to watch?” 

“I don’t know that it really matters. We’re all going to be talking anyway.” Janis nodded. “Who’s going to be there?”

“Cady, Aaron, Damian, you, me, I'm thinking about inviting Karen and Gretchen.” Regina smiled, looking at all of the dancing couples. “It’s all gonna get sorted out at some point, you know.”

“I’m really not sure about that. I did a lot of horrible things and I don’t expect any of it to work out.” 

Janis took Regina's hand to draw patterns on it with her finger. “We’ll figure it out. I know you’re a good person, Regina. You just need to work on not hiding that.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Regina couldn’t tear her gaze away from Janis’s sparkling eyes.  _ It’s not like that,  _ She promised herself.  _ Everybody knows Janis is pretty, I’m not weird, it’s fine.  _ Janis cleared her throat, smirking. Regina wasn’t looking at her eyes anymore.  _ Wait, when did I start looking at her boobs?  _

“See something you like?” She teased. Regina rolled her eyes, smiling. “Or two things, I guess.” Regina could  _ hear _ her smirking.

“Janis.” She warned. 

“What? Straight girls don't just stare at other people’s boobs.“ She shrugged. “I learned that the hard way.“    


Regina smiled, but she couldn't decide whether or not to laugh. It seemed to be a touchy subject to Janis, but Janis was smiling, too. Is it okay or not?  _ I should be able to understand her, I´m a girl, too! Why is she like this? _

“You just look really good and comfortable. And not the bad comfortable, I just mean that you look comfortable with what you´re wearing, rather than trying to fit into some sort of corset or skin tight dress. And you look really good in suits. I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about this.” She rambled, pulling her hand away from Janis. “I think I’m... not straight.” Regina exhaled loudly. “I can’t believe I just said that to you.”

“Me neither, but you did it. Admitting it is the hardest part, you know. I denied it for so long because I didn't want it to be another part of my life that you could dictate.“ Janis smiled at her. 

“That’s fair. Again, I’m really sorry.” Janis smiled at her.

“No hard feelings.” She held out her hand, which Regina shook. 

Regina held her hand for a minute longer. “Wow, your hands are so soft!”

“They are?” She rubbed her hand on her cheek. “They are! Damian’s never told me that before.” She shrugged, ignoring the topic. “Anyway, ready to get going?” 

“Yeah.” 

Janis pulled her up and jokingly asked, “Do you need me to carry you?” 

“I know you’re joking, but could you? My back is killing me.” Janis looked as if she’d seen a ghost but she nodded. “Um, I could try and get on your back?”

She simply shook her head and picked Regina up, carrying her bridal style towards the door. Regina wrapped her arms around Janis’ neck, holding on for dear life. “I won’t drop you, I promise. I can pick up Damian.” 

They made their way out of the building and to Janis’ truck in the parking lot. It looked a little rusty, but Janis had clearly fixed it herself, so the fact that it was running was impressive. “You can lie down in the backseat.” Janis instructed, opening the door. “Mind if I turn on music while we wait for Damian?” 

“It’s fine.” Janis turned on what station had been playing last but quickly changed it. “Why’d you change it?”

Janis shrugged. “Just figured you wouldn’t want to listen to heavy metal.” Regina laughed. 

“Wait, you actually listen to that stuff?” 

“Yeah. I like it more than the musicals Damian makes me listen to, although I didn’t mind Heathers.” Regina smiled. 

She sighed and Janis looked back at her. “I don’t know why I wasted all this time hating you. I don’t even know why I hated you in the first place.” 

Janis laughed. “I know, right? How could anyone hate  _ me?  _ I’m pretty great.” She waited for Regina to laugh, but she didn’t. “Kidding. I hate myself.” 

“It’s sad how casually people can drop things like that.” She nodded in agreement. 

Regina couldn’t see, but at this moment Damian came running flamboyantly, in all of his gay glory, slamming his face into Janis’ truck window. 

“Hey, Jan. Why’s Regina in your back seat?” She winked at him and Regina laughed. “WAIT WHAT?! YOU GUYS DIDN’T… IN THE BACK OF THE CAR?” Janis shoved him.

“No! I’m just giving Regina a ride to my house. Can we stop talking about her like she’s not right here?” Damian nodded, clicking the seatbelt into the buckle. 

“Sooo… who’s crashing movie night?” 

“Gretchen, Karen, Caddy, Aaron, Regina, and I think that’s all. We really all need to talk about this year.” Regina assumed Damian was nodding. Janis started to drive. “Hey, Regina? Maybe hold on to something. This car is old and rusty. I fixed it up, but it still isn’t running too smoothly.

Regina smiled. “You did a really good job. Have you considered painting the outside?”

“I have, but I don’t think it would work because it’d chip off.” That statement left the car in silence for a few minutes before Janis spoke up again. “Somebody say something before I go insane!” 

“Something!” Damian shouted.

“Pants!” Regina said, just a moment after. Janis groaned.

“That’s not a real something. We need to talk about something! I’m so bored.” Janis bumped her head against her peeling headrest, which Regina assumed had already been in rough condition when she’d first gotten the car. 

She smiled; It was nice to hang out with Janis again, and it seemed like Janis didn’t mind her company either. “Why don’t you talk about something? Talk about… uh… how much you hate musicals?” 

“Gladly. First of all, I don’t  _ hate  _ musicals, it’s just that I can’t get into them because Damian keeps forcing me to listen to them. Like I said before, I liked Heathers. That’s my kind of show. Murder, romance, suicide…” Damian laughed.

“I’d love to hear you sing something from Heathers.” This time, it was Janis who laughed. 

“So would I… If only I could match the vocal powerhouse that is Barrett Wilbert Weed.” She sighed, dramatically.

“Ease up on the dramatics, Jan. You’re turning into Damian.” Regina laughed. “Sooo… how about that kiss?” Regina teased.

“NO!” Janis yelled. “We’re never doing that again. It was gross.” 

“I agree, although, I was right, you do taste like cinnamon.” Damian remarked, somewhat awkwardly.

Regina laughed. “Yeah, you seem like you’d taste like cinnamon.” 

“You’ve both thought about it?” Regina laughed again, clutching her sides. 

“Janis, sweetie, half the people in this school have thought about it.” Janis turned around, stopping the car. 

“Wait, what?!” Regina smiled. “Wh-- why? How? What is happening?” 

Damian couldn’t stop laughing at Janis’s reaction. “J-Janis!” He dissolved into a fit of giggles. “Why are you so surprised?” 

“Look at me!” She gestured to her wrinkled suit and her messed up bowtie. 

“Exactly.” Regina said. “I’m putting it bluntly, you’re hot and everyone thinks so.” Janis laughed.

“Yeah… that’s not true.” Her statement was followed by Regina and Damian simultaneously ‘hyping her up’ as the kids say. She kept denying it. “Stop! It’s not true, and I will never accept it!” 

“You’re beautiful and talented! Accept it! Love yourself!” Damian yelled. 

Janis laughed. “I don’t want to! I’m perfectly happy in a world where I hate myself!” 

Soon enough, they arrived at home. They went straight to the garage which had been transformed into Janis’ art studio. She often slept down there instead of in her own room, finding that she was more comfortable in the garage than she was upstairs. 

Regina remembered what Janis’ room had looked like when they were still friends, but she was sure that it had changed since the eighth grade incident. Her room used to be bright pink, which she knew Janis always hated deep down, but she’d never bothered to change because she thought it would upset Regina.    


Just recently, Regina had realized the even smaller ways she’d been hurting people. She always made Janis pay for food when they went to the mall. She always said that Gretchen couldn’t wear hoop earrings just because she didn’t like hoops. She always called Karen stupid, even though she knew that Karen just wasn’t booksmart. 

Janis waving the middle finger (literally) to all the things people told her she couldn’t do because she was a girl had really opened Regina’s eyes. Her recovery time in the hospital had been spent thinking about the wrong she’d done and how to make it right again.

Damian and Janis were rushing around the garage, desperately trying to clean everything up before their other friends arrived. Damian was waiting on the popcorn machine to finish and Janis was pulling out blankets from a closet. SHe dropped the blankets on the project.

“Regina, lay down.” She did so, trying to adjust herself in a position that would be comfortable. Janis tossed her the remote. “Here, you can put on pretty much anything. Don’t fall asleep.” 

“I won’t.” Cady knocked on the door and Janis ran to the door, landing face first against it. 

“Are you alright in there?” Cady called from outside. Damian was already rolling on the floor while laughing and Janis was trying not to cry.

“I’m fine.” She groaned, opening the door. “Come in, make yourself comfortable, I guess.” Aaron looked around, having never been in Janis’ house before. 

“We gotta wait for everyone else, and then we can talk.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Come in, make yourself comfortable, I guess.” Aaron looked around, having never been in Janis’ house before. “We gotta wait for everyone else, and then we can talk.” Aaron led Cady to a seat. “No making out in my cave!” 

She and Aaron laughed awkwardly. A car horn honked outside and Janis groaned before opening the door to see Karen and Gretchen walking to the garage door. “Hi, Janis!” Karen yelled. 

“Shh, I can hear you.” Janis said, stepping aside so the girls could come in. “Take a seat, and we´re gonna talk about everything.” 

The group was silent while everyone got comfortable and Regina spoke up from the couch. “Where do we start?” 

“Right before the space dyke incident. You can go first.” Janis said, taking a seat on the ground and reaching for Regina’s hand. 

“Okay. I’m really sorry, Janis. When we were younger, I really looked up to you even if I was more popular, I guess. And then at one of our sleepovers, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to kiss you. All night I was thinking about it. And then for weeks I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Janis couldn’t stop laughing. “Quit it! So anyways, I started to figure out that something was wrong with me, and then I guess I tried to pretend like you had done something wrong so that I wouldn’t still like you, which clearly didn’t work. That’s why I made up the whole thing about only having six people at my party, because I wanted to forget about what I did.” 

The group was pretty shocked at her revelation, but Janis was still laughing. “So you didn’t even know I was gay?” Regina gave her a look. “Oh, this is  _ rich. _ ” 

“Darling, stop teasing.” Janis rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything else. 

“I had to keep up the act and it became a part of me. I’m so sorry, guys. Gretchen, Karen, I took advantage of you and I’m sorry.” She finished with a sigh. 

“It’s okay. I knew it wasn’t you.” Karen said, still wearing a smile.

Janis started drawing patterns on her own legs with a stray marker she found. “I missed the old you. You were awesome.” 

Aaron spoke up. “It’s like I said to Cady, ‘I like seeing you be awesome. I haven’t seen it in a long time.’” Regina gave a sad smile. 

“So all of the stuff you said about us… wasn’t true?” Gretchen said, fiddling with her hands. 

“I don’t know. I don’t think that stuff about you guys, but I did when I was… I don’t know, not acting like me?” Gretchen nodded, sinking into the chair she was sharing with Karen. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Jan, come over here.” She stood up with a grunt and leaned on Damian, intertwining their hands. “I’m just worried that you’re gonna start crying.” 

She shook her head. “No way, I’ve exceeded my crying limit for forever. It’s my turn, isn’t it?” The group nodded. “So Regina and I grew up being best friends and I started to realize that I was gay. Not specifically because of Regina, but she and Gretchen were always talking about boys and I never understood. Then when the whole outing incident happened. I remember staring up at the big letters on my locker, and it was one of the most horrible feelings. I was so confused and it was the first time the voices in my head got so loud like they do when I have… nevermind. They still haven’t calmed down.” Damian squeezed her shoulders as she leaned into Damian for comfort or out of habit. 

“You know you’re supposed to tell me when they’re loud, sweetheart.” She could feel that she was about to cry.

“They’re always loud.” She choked out. Her voice broke and it made Regina’s heart hurt. “They never stop and I  _ hate  _ it.” Damian pulled her closer and stroked her hair, trying to get her to calm down and focus on something. 

“Y’all are really sleeping on their insane friendship.” Cady says, laughing as she leans into Aaron. “What? They’re so close!” 

“Breathe, Jan. Breathe, calm down, you’re safe.” Damian said, holding her as she started shaking. “I know you can’t hear me, darling, but you’re going to be fine.” 

“I’m sorry, guys. Caddy, I never should’ve used you like I did. I’m really sorry. I know sorry can’t fix everything, but I hope you know I mean it. And Karen and Gretchen, I’m sorry that you guys got hurt. And I’m sorry you got hit, Gina.” She rambled, probably unaware of whatever was happening around her. 

“Aw, Janis, it’s not your fault.” Regina said. Damian shook his head and Regina got the message. “Is she gonna be alright?”

“She’s gonna be fine. Just hang on a minute.” Janis started breathing heavier and grabbing at Damian’s shirt. “Hey, hey, it’s alright. You’re gonna be okay, Jan, I need you to breathe. For me, okay?” Her breathing grew slower as she managed to calm herself down. “Nice job, darling.” 

She sniffled. “You guys can keep going, I’m sorry.” She apologized again. 

“Janis, what have I told you? Don’t apologize for things that aren’t your fault.” Regina says, still in a kind tone. 

“I know,” She whispered meekly. “Caddy, can you start?” 

Cady nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. “Jan, you’re fine. So, when I first got here, I really wanted to make friends, and Janis and Damian kinda jumped on that. They knocked on the bathroom stall and said something about drugs, which I still don’t understand, and then they showed me around the cafeteria. Regina invited me to sit with them, and Janis said I should spy on them. I did it because they were my friends and I trust people really easily. I never went into it with the intention to hurt anyone. I changed. I wasn’t grounded enough in reality so I changed and turned into a monster. I let the power go to my head and I’m sorry.” 

Damian spoke up. “It’s really not your fault. We’re not exactly innocent in this either.” 

“True, this is literally all my fault.  _ I _ made the plan,  _ I _ used Caddy,  _ I _ wanted revenge,  _ I’m _ the reason Regina got hit.” Regina gasped. 

“Janis,  _ please listen. It is not your fault.  _ Got it?” She reluctantly nodded. “Janis, none of us blame you, okay?” She nodded again, slowly. “I know your mind doesn’t believe me but I need you to hear it and accept it. I wanna talk to you once this is over.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of Self-harm

“Janis,  _ please listen. It is not your fault.  _ Got it?” She reluctantly nodded. “Janis, none of us blame you, okay?” She nodded again, slowly. “I know your mind doesn’t believe me but I need you to hear it and accept it. I wanna talk to you once this is over.” 

“Alright. And you’re right, my mind doesn’t believe you. But I want to.” Regina smiled, sighing and letting her head rest on the arm of the couch. “So do y'all wanna watch a movie?”

“I’m sorry. Jan, you know I love you so much and you’re my soulmate, but did you just unironically say ‘y’all?’” 

Janis tossed a pillow at him. “I’m from Texas, get off my case! And I love you too!” She yelled, in a more aggressive tone than someone would normally use to say ‘I love you.’ The group laughed. “Does anyone wanna watch a movie?” 

A number of suggestions were yelled out and Janis glared at the group. “Janis is just mad because of the noise.”

“Janis is  _ right _ here,  _ darling _ .” She turned to glare at him, then her face split into a grin so she could assure him she wasn’t upset with him. 

“I know, love! I was just explaining it to them so they wouldn’t worry.” 

“I would kinda worry, Jan, you look just like a lioness when you get angry.” Cady said, laughing. 

“Thank you?” Janis didn’t understand the comparison but she was happy to hear that Cady hadn’t forgotten about her life in Africa. “I think Cads needs to watch Madagascar, Regina loves that movie, what about the rest of you?” They all mumbled in agreement. “Cool. We’re watching Madagascar.”

She scrolled through pages on her TV, and pressed the rent button and although Janis would probably argue, Regina made a reminder on her phone to give Janis five dollars to pay her back for renting the movie. 

“Hun, do you need a makeup wipe?” Damian whispered, playing with her hair. Janis nodded. What Regina found the weirdest was that instead of wiping makeup off of her face, she started wiping her arms. “Regina, maybe don’t watch or stare at her. It’s pretty hard to look at and it’s hard for her, too.” 

Janis busied her hands by twisting the wipe. “Damian, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but I was gonna cut myself again at the dance.” Regina was appalled at what she was hearing, but she focused on the TV to respect Janis’s privacy.  _ I wouldn’t have even considered letting her have her privacy a month ago.  _

“But you didn’t, did you?” Janis shook her head, wiping at her eyes. “I’ll always be there to help you when you get urges, but I think it would be helpful if we find you something to do with your hands. Keeping a fidget toy in your pocket will probably help.” She nodded, letting the wipe fall on the floor, face completely bare. “I’m so proud of you, darling. You’re doing so good.” 

“Movie’s almost over. Thank you.”

“Thanks for what, sweet?”

“For being my best friend and my reason to live and for helping me through this stuff and for being so fun to be around and for giving me exactly what I need even when you don’t know how badly I need it.” Janis started to cry. “I don’t even know why you’re still friends with me, you’re too perfect to me.”

He smiled at her, letting her snuggle as far into him as she needed. “Darling, I’m friends with you because you make me smile and laugh, and you’re caring, and you work hard for everyone. You’re outspoken and not afraid of speaking your mind and I love you for that. You’re my JanJan and you deserve all the love in the world so I give you all of mine.” 

“Okay, movie’s done.” Aaron said, smiling at the look on Cady’s face. “Aw, Cads, you didn’t like it?” She tilted her head to the side. “I was being sarcastic.”

“Janis, can I talk to you now?” She nodded. It took Regina a little time to get up but the girls walked upstairs so they could talk. “I’ve never seen you without makeup before.” She looked down at her hands, smiling shyly. “You’re beautiful.” Janis laughed. “You are! I know your brain doesn’t let you think about yourself like that, but I think you’re beautiful.” 

“Thank you… Um, you wanna tell me why you were staring at my boobs at the dance?” Janis asked, a smirk creeping up the right side of her face. Regina stayed silent, biting her lips. “Okay. So what exactly did you wanna talk to me about?” 

“I heard you talking to Damian at the end of the movie. Have you really been…?” 

“Cutting? Self harming?” Regina nodded shyly. “Yeah. But I’m experienced enough to cover it up.” Janis took off her jacket, revealing the scars over her arms. “You can’t tell anybody at school, okay?”

“Yeah! I wouldn't do that. Old Regina probably would’ve, but I won’t.” Janis smiled at her.  _ This _ was the Regina she fell in love with. Although this might just be because of the pain medicine. “Uh, is it true that you tried to…”

Janis cut her off. “Yeah. Not something I’m proud of, but I’ve tried at least 4 times. I got sent to the hospital after the first time.” The bitterness in her voice was what hurt Regina the most. Janis was broken and hurt and it was all Regina’s fault. Regina took Janis’s hands, feeling how soft they were like she had at the dance. 

“I’m so sorry, Janis. It’s my fault you tried to k-- I don’t really wanna say it.” 

Janis looked down at her feet, squeezing Regina’s hands.  “It’s not your fault. The only thing you did was start it. You never shoved me, you never threw me in a locker, you never ruined my art, you never punched me or put a sign on my back.” Regina was actually appalled. “What, you didn’t know people did that?” 

She shook her head. “I’m sorry, Janis. I’m really sorry.” Janis dropped Regina’s hands, rifling through the cabinets for something to eat. “You’re eating more?” 

“Princess, I haven’t eaten all night.” Regina blushed at the nickname. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve eaten since Monday.”

“ _ Janis.  _ It’s Friday.” She shrugged, pulling out a granola bar. “Really? Janis, you  _ need _ to take care of yourself.” 

“I have been! I got three hours of sleep last night instead of not sleeping at all! And honestly? I have more important things to be doing.” She tilted her head. “I have work, I have to paint, I take care of my sister, spend time with Damian and Caddy, do homework, cook dinner, pack lunches, clean the house, and then I cut to make all the stress go away.” 

Regina nodded slowly. “You’re amazing. Wait, what’s your GPA?” 

Janis blushed. “I’ve got a 5.0…” 

“I thought the highest was a 4.3 or something.” Janis shook her head. 

“I’m in AP classes, so the highest is a 5.3.” Regina’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. “I know, I'm not doing the best I could.”

She rolled her eyes. “Janis Heidi Sarkisian, you are doing  _ amazing.  _ I’m honestly amazed that you’re turning in your assignments at all. You’re doing so much and I’m really proud of you.”

“Thanks, Gina.” She blushed again at the nickname she hadn’t heard Janis use since they were twelve. “Talk to me about something.” 

“I don’t think I ever got over my crush on you.” Janis was pretty sure her heart stopped for a second. 

“Really?” She nodded. “Wow…” Regina was initially worried since Jaanis wasn’t really reacting, but when her face broke out into a grin, she just had to smile, too. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Yes!” Regina leaned across the table, placing her lips on Janis’s. She tasted like cinnamon, just like Damian said they did. Her lips weren’t exactly smooth, but she loved the way they felt on hers. She held Janis’s hands, rubbing her fingers on the back of them. Janis pulled back to breathe. ”Wow.”

“You’re cute. Wanna head back downstairs?” Regina smiled, letting Janis take her hand and lead her down to the basement where the rest of the group was talking. Damian gave Janis a look as soon as he saw her, and then he motioned to her lips. She hastily wiped away Regina’s lip gloss and he gave her a thumbs up. 

“So… Regina, Janis, how was your talk?” Cady prompted, staring at the interlaced hands. 

“...Eventful.” Was Janis’s way to describe their talk. “Damian, don’t look at me like that.” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self harm mentions

"Does this mean I have to share you?” Janis nodded, chuckling. “Can I still have you on Saturdays, holidays, and your birthday?” 

Janis nodded again. “Duh. And you’ve got me on your birthday, too. I still love you and you're still my soulmate, dude, it’s not like I’m ending our friendship or anything. But you may have to share me on my birthday.” Regina squeezed her hand. 

“I’m totally down to let you hang with Damian cause I know how close you guys are, but I mean, I've missed you for a while now and I want to catch up on the time we spent hating each other.” Damian nodded, his expression showing that he was impressed with Regina’s calmness. Janis smiled and sat on the couch, patting the spot next to her. Regina sat there and snuggled into Janis’s side, burying her nose in her shoulder. “Your hair smells good.”

“Thanks, princess.” Damian smiled at the nickname. “Alright, do you guys wanna stay over or are you gonna head home?” 

“Karen and I are going to head home.” Gretchen said, gathering her things. Cady and Aaron did the same. 

“You already know I’m staying.” Damian laughed. “Is your mom home?” Janis shook her head, flinching as the garage door shut loudly. Regina squeezed her waist to comfort her. “Working again?” Janis nodded this time. “What about your sister?” 

“Friend’s house.” She answered. “Alright. We’re staying down here. I’ll pull out the beds for you guys and I’ll take the floor. And I can grab you a change of clothes. What do you do about your spine thing?” 

Regina smiled, kissing her neck. “Don’t worry about it, Janis. I got it. I really don’t know how you do it all.”

“I’m hardly managing.” A moment of pity and silence. “Anyways, I’ve gotta make a list of everything I need to do tomorrow. Darling, can you help me with the beds once I’m done?” He nodded, already starting on the beds. She ran up the stairs, grabbing some clothes for Regina and herself to wear. “You can change in the bathroom, I'm sure you know where it is. Honestly, I’m just gonna change in here cause you’ve seen everything I wouldn’t really want anyone else to see.” 

Damian had finished setting up the beds and grabbed his bag with the clothes he had brought because he knew he was going to stay over. He briefly made eye contact with Janis, and saw a look in her eyes that he hadn’t really seen in a while. “Are you alright, love?” 

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around him. “I’m so stressed. There’s too much to do and I can’t even cut to make all the worrying go away.” He kissed the top of her head.

“I know. I promise someday something really good will happen to you and all of your work will be worth it.” She sniffed. “I know, darling. I know it hurts. I wish I could make it go away, but you know I can’t. I want you to be happy, and we’re gonna get you there.” 

“I love you.” She cried. 

“Aw, Janis… I love you, too.” 


End file.
